End of attachment

The attachment n final year project ended..6 mths had passed in 2 winks of an eye, wink wink.. N starts the day 1 of my attachment extension..Everybody said im sad today (actually only 3) cos my attachment friend did not have extension n dey tik i will b lonely n sad..lol i had been alone for the majority of my life so im quite comfortable wif or wifout friends.. course havin friends around is an enjoyable thing but one must noe how to live alone anyways..haha problem is i do haf a very dull lookin face so at a time like dis i hope dey dun b too sensitive n tik im unhappy or so. Hell im quite an antisocial tryin to b sociable..not dat i dun wan to b disturbed or things like dat but mayb its cos how i looked seems uninterested n i slutter abit when i speak n worse of all im retarded n cant tik fast..so conversations usually ends short. Or mayb the simple reason is jus i sux.. Now im bloggin cos deres nothing for me to do n its the 1st day of my extension, i ought to act busy..

Haven done any physical trainin in wks n my body is stiffin up..im gettin weak..Haven been to arcade much lately too cos doing fyp n also recently no money..baa..anyways now its all over, wanna reflect on my attachment since deres still bout 4 hrs to kill..

Well, dis attachment period was like livin a dream..attachment is to allow us haf a feel in the job of our scope i guess n it was fun. Never thought i would b doin the things i was here..but then am i really up for dis kind of jobs..dats a question dat had been poppin up my mind..heck its 1 last sem b4 NS den either uni or workin in reality.

Now at attachment we jus did the work n days passes.. but as seen from my supervisors, the job aint dat easy..constantly upgradin is a necessity which means studies n learnin. Alot of ppl had gone overseas whether dey come back anot depends on the future.. experiments are a fun, interestin n excitin experience but wat follows r tedious analysis, paperworks conferences n deadlines. One can haf great determination, a positive attitude n never say die aft failin experiments aft experiments but in the process wasting expensive solutions n reagents n whether dey meet the deadline is a question mark. It may b excitin but deres no restarts..One never noe wat a minor mistake would led to where a small thing can end years of hardwork..

My attachment is at a lab at the cancer centre..workin in a lab was sumthing dat most would dream of when joinin the course or in the science field..but it aint no playground..Many times at my workplace be it walkin to the stairs at lvl 1 or takin the lifts, i could c patients sufferin..a sad look on their faces which i avoided takin a second look,dey r all hopin for a cure yet all i do in the lab is breakin glasses..I guess i really enjoyed practicals at sch we jus do to learn n although i failed to optain any desired results for countless practicals, its either jus forget it or blame my lab partner..haha im a irresponsible guy..but here a mistake equals much more leadin to accumulation of stress n as it increases at a moment of unfocusness, another mistake occurred..baa..I had screwed up lots of times..if i were in this field in the future n screwd up, am i able to bear the consequences??i really cant answer..being clumsy my freakin life, dun really noe wats suitable for me..all i can do now is not to let any bullshit get to me..its tough..but im tough enuf ahahhaha..

But luckily the ppl in the lab were 'humans' afterall, not dose nerdy serious n dead logged ppl i would imagine..yes dey r serious when needed to but other dan dat we r all humans.. my supervisor is also learnin bout diff experiments along the way n had to refer to protocols here n there which works for me cos it more like workin togeher den kana get ordered ard..

Was invited to a farewell party bout a wk ago where i was the most unproperly attired.. dere the conversations were very ermm..grown up n professional?? like dis guy work for me dat guy too he go US she go japan we doing sum projects major stuffs had happened its interestin dis its baa..dun understand much but when we were playin charades n pictionary, every1 equal n i feel much more comfortable..prolly also becos of the glasses of wine i drank.

Overall dis 6 mths was an eye opener n a part of my journey which i wont forget anytime soon it leaves me more quesitons marks to pounder on.. now deres 1 more mth for me to live in my fantasy (other den havin nothing to do n screwin up stuffs) but after dat, a new chapter begins..