Movin on

1/11/05

1st day of the month n sch gonna start in less dan 7 days..The date fer BBQ is set on sat..tis the 1st ever time me n sec sch frens organise an outing together..cooperation makes it happens..Fren wanted to organised dis wif 2 main reasons.. Frenship n Fun..it aint dat easy to organise a bbq but things jus work out jus like dat..im pretty glad to haf the exp o help out in organising the class chalet wif poly frens.. though didn’t do much but had learnt stuffs dat r helpful while helping out wif plannin of the bbq..Gonna look forward to it..for distractions? Nah..fer frenship n fun 100%..

It only took afew days to make dis plan a happening..however on the other hand wif dif grp, sumthing which i had kinda longed for n had been assured or promised of(does dis sounds gay..?aiya low on vocab no choice..)seems like it aint gonna happen..Jus sumthing different..diff locations were toked bout but none happened..y? time n money..frenship n fun VS time n money..a fight between fantasy n reality..guess wat, wif money on reality side, it usually wins..so trips aft trips aft trips were cancelled it so it goes fer long n long..cant b helped..but call me childish or watever I aint gonna gif up on dat..though ders really nuthin I can do but sit n sleep..In dis marker for a new begginnin, things threaten for an end..though I believe its an impulse crap but still sux to tik of it..am I worryin cos im sensing an finale as well?nah shut up n dun tik rayson..does holdin on to a hope for a ray of light in a black hole equals to stupidity n dumbness?

I dun really haf much dreams, goals or aims..but im gonna keep dem..haha but the very fact dat dose r dreams goals n aims is cos I cant make dem happen..but no use whinnin..im jus takin dis time while writin dis entry to flashback on the past..Dis aint time to act like a small baby dammit..when will I ever grow..Tck..

Recently played arcade in diff location..found dat everybody dats surround me r strangers..( of cos la)so I dun really noe their playstyle or skills..sumhow dat kinda newbified me..mayb its fear im experiencing..i feel like a prey in the dark woods..A stranger challenged me n my characters r literally a puchin bag fer him.. almost like im the dummy in practice mode..but when I saw my fren tryin to spot dat stranger weaknesses n challenging himm though lost at 1st but won the nxt, my fear kinda disappear n im hopin fer challenges jus like back at the place I usually played anyways wherever I go I get my ass whoop..when stepping into absolute darkness, the only n 1st to do is to believe in oneself-confidence.. Dis kinda like the feelin when enterin ne schs? Companies? Being 1st timers at things..if I can change the fear into adrenaline rush for fight action,den dese few trips to the arcade would benefit me..though dat remains to b seen..

Recently was really low on luck..but deres always ups n dwns..makin me happy fer nuthin..problems followed by consolations by more probs..dey never failed to get me but never got to break me..But still, im considered kinda fortunate..every1 gotta hf probs to grow frm it ya..since im growin in a much slower rate, mor probs which is considered nuthin would arrive to help acceleratin..Tis my life..gonna life it proud..

Anyways, on dis marker of he new beginning, lets hope all goes well frm now on..things will work out jus like dat..when it dun, strive to make things work out, jus like dat..Easy ya? Gonna train hard to b a factor