achievement n enjoyment?

17/11/05

Phew..mornings calls..on Sunday, fren called while I was slpin askin me go swim n hes on his way..so I tried to rush dere..today another fren called in morning askin me go eat breakfast n hes on his way le..once again I had to try rush..anyways aft dat, I had a busy time smsing..

Today prac I found 1 thing, aft so many exp, I still cant use a microscope well..haizz..jus now took real long to try seacrhin for cells but to no avail..haha guess it kinda sux to b my lab partner..sorry..anyways I ddnt gave up n kept seacrhin..least in the end while the majority had finshed packin, I finally saw sum RBC YAHOO..kinda pleased by dis little achievement..but cant c whole WBC cos its squashed..

Sumtimes for life to b better, ya gotta b heartless..make sacrifices n stop dreamin of false hope so dat ppl stay happy..it sux dat I find it damn hard..suppose to b a heartless devil of prey dammit..but least I can say im slowly adaptin..i jus nid more distractions now..so dose morning calls r really much appreciate..i hope more events continues..but den haha I also turned dwn some trips..dunno la..dough im tryin really suckly, its really hard n im gonna feel relieved bout it..aint gonna gif in to stupid fantasy daydreams..if I dun try to stop now, its gonna lead to more unpleasant happenings..i dun really care if any1 understands or if dey misunderstands..so let dis b a 1st step to nothingness..i only wish to life on peacefully..wont b greedy to hope for joy anymore..jus im gonna make myself enjoy along wif nothingness n others..

But anyways, for XI, things r not too shabby for me..jus now got 7 wins at suntec..dat guy at 1st like look dwn on me de..use 1 random..but well im pretty much lucky recently..2 charac managed to 1 kill 3 so far n de other had helped me ks vict wif pathetic life fer more dan 5 times frm the quite many times I played so far.. I dun really wanna tik of dis as a trade fer the sucky time im havin..wanna tik its cos of effort..will feel better..i mean, frens all like v pro n got lotsa achievements..dey got 10 plus wins, 20 plus wins etc..n me now still haven got a 10 wins..dats 1 of my targets..i tik my highest no of wins is 8 ba..but if really tis a reward fer sucky times, I wanna b a noobest noob, noober den I am now.. but since I cant make any choice n its not really dat true, im gonna enjoy it..haizz bt i was commented boring once by viewers at back who watched me play..honestly i hate any comments gd or bad while im playin..but lao dis feels more sian compared to tu lan or anger..

Today heard sum kinda err dunno..warning or frustration?dunno howta say.. ermm..anyways not my prob but..if only I can help..haha the feelin of bein helpless kinda pathetic..but im doin wat I can..c how goes..

K nomore runnin for dis wk..insead I played much games..man my wallet is burnin too..mayb shld ry save abit more..but den..im tikin of goin arcade tomolo anyways